A LOT CAN HAPPEN OVER TEA

I walk into the room and greet him, this acquaintance of mine.

" hello uncle, kaise ho?"
" arre beta aao, kaise ho? bahut dino baad mile ho, sab theek hai na?"
" sab theek hai uncle, bas aapki dua hai"

then the dreaded question or statement , whichever way it is presented:

" beta chai piyo"
" uuuhh...uncle main chai nahi pita"

"coffee chalega? ya thanda mangwau? koi baat nahi beta, zara sa pi lo, aadhi cup"

" arre nahi uncle, ( i have to start explaining that i dont drink too much tea, just had a cup in the mornin, i rather prefer coffee and that too only once a day with lots of sugar, i dont even have cold drinks , ,blah blah, "

" arre nahi , aise kaise chalega, kuch to lena hi padega"
( what now? your peon will hold me down while you force it down my throat?)

The dumb peon/office boy walks in with a cup of hot piping tea despite my earnest requests.

" ab to chai aa hi gaya hai, pina to padega"
" lekin ... magar...par..."

and this guy proceeds to hand me the cup with his parkinson's hands, " titter , twatter ( cup sounds)"
" blik!!! , splash!!!, tatter , crash ( tea spills all over me, cup crashes to the floor)
"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH...( me running out screaming, and people wondering why im holding my crotch area with steam all around it)

THE NEXT TIME:

" beta chai piyo"
no more hesitation:
" sllllllllurpppppppp!!!, wah uncle kya chai hai, maza aa gaya."